Below are the questions that are asked in the preplanning questionnaire and some explanation of the many options that an individual has in responding to each question. Most people will chose not to answer all of the question initially. We hope that by providing a variety of avenues of exploration your goal of outlining a satisfactory Life remembrance will be achieved.
I suspect that it will be appropriate to talk a bit about my life. You might mention that I felt good about these accomplishments:
We have all accomplished many things during our lives. For some those accomplishments may focus on family, work, social activities, sports, hobbies, education, etc. Most of us will have to set aside, for the time being, our sense of modesty. Consider this question to be a way of gently reminding family and friends.
I would like to be remembered for:
Is there a central focus/attribute/achievement that has been of great importance to you? Maybe special personal victories, or goals achieved?
And that I have described my spiritual values/religious convictions to be:
Here we use the term "spiritual values/ religious convictions in their broadest possible definitions. Everyone has some core values, this is an opportunity, if you wish to discuss them.
And that I hold these quotes/scriptures to be of value:
As above, assume the widest possible definitions. Poems or passages so often have special meaning, brief statements can become life guides. Perhaps, "What Grandpa always said"
I have learned a lot from life. Some lessons I might pass on are:
Everyone leaves a legacy. This is an opportunity to begin to frame the one you wish people to focus on. Your children, marriage, travel, professional accomplishments, or the quilt you knitted.
It is not my intention to leave things unsaid, but just to be sure, I leave these comments for:
Almost like the dedication of a book or piece of music. This is an opportunity to acknowledge specific persons or groups. Thank you, I Love You, See you over there
Some of the things that I would be pleased to have occur at my life remembrance are:
We have all been to life remembrances that were truly satisfying and memorable. What happened at those gatherings? Was it the location? The format of the gathering? The way in which the service was conducted? The person that guided the gathering? What made it special in your eyes?
Many of us hold old fashioned ideas about how life remembrances are conducted, "only in a church with a minister", etc. In reality there are few restrictions on the format of a life remembrance today. EW has held life remembrances in community centers, restaurants, homes, gardens, all sorts of places. Some have ministers as officiants, some are conducted solely by family members, some are as informal as a family gathering with friends.
Some of the things that have not impressed me at life remembrances are:
We have attended life remembrances that were not satisfying, what were causes of the dissatisfaction? "If you do this _______ I will haunt you!!!!"
So, if I were doing the job myself my life remembrance might look like this:
What would the ideal life remembrance look like? We have used a 1939 John Deere tractor to transport the casket to grave side, transported an urn to the niche on the back of a Harley Davidson, Journeyed to crematory with the casket carried on the shoulders of family and friends.
EW has held life remembrances in community centers, restaurants, homes, gardens, all sorts of places. Some have ministers as officiants, some are conducted solely by family members, some are as informal as a family gathering with friends.
If you wish to display some remembrances of me at the life remembrance, here are some ideas.
During life remembrances at EW we have displayed antique automobiles, restored by the deceased, motorcycles, quilts, collections, photographs, paintings, and any number of other kinds of mementos. We find that the presence of mementos is comforting to survivors and causes friends and guests to be more supportive of each other. What would help people focus on your life?
You may wish to play some of this music before, during or after the life remembrance.
EW is, as are most funeral homes, fully equipped to play any current format of music, CD's, tapes, etc. As well, we can play VHS tapes, DVD's and other audio/visual media. We maintain a current list of live performers, harpists, organists, pianists, bagpipers, stringed instrument players, etc.
All in All, I would like people to leave my life remembrance feeling:
Self explanatory.
As you may already know, I wish the following disposition of my remains.
Here you may wish to list cemetery property, your wishes regarding cremation, etc.
